Parenting

Let's face the truth, parenting is hard.  To be honest I can't remember a lot of my childhood and the things that my parents did to raise me.  The greatest thing that I am grateful for though is that my parents tried their hardest to be active parents and help me grow into a responsible adult.
In my house there was no power struggle, there was no manipulation, there was reasoning and love.  My parents usually talked calmly and kindly.  I knew that they wanted the best for me and that they were always looking out for me.  My parents were wonderful, but like all parents they weren't perfect.  There were times when counsel hurt, when words or actions stung more than punishment, and other times when their frustration was noticeable.
Luckily nobody expects us to be perfect.  Overall my parents are still wonderful and loving.  I wouldn't trade them for anybody else.

I want to focus a portion of my post to this quote.  As parents (or future parents), we need to learn that our actions and words do affect other people.  As a parent we will have an opportunity everyday to help our children grow closer to us or further away.  We can become a great blessing or a major weight in their life.  This is why we need to make sure that we are raising our children right.
Now, I know that this may be a very touchy subject, so I'm going to tread a little carefully, However, I hope you will agree with me that parents and children should have strong positive bonds.
While there may not be a single way of parenting that works for all children, there are some tips that can help us as we try to be better parents, (or once more, learn to become parents).
1.  Develop a positive relationship:  We need to be able to talk to our children(especially teenagers).  If our relationship is strained and nonexistent then it will be difficult to be able to help them grow and learn.  Developing this relationship begins when they are young.  We cannot guide children when there is no foundation.  We may manipulate, but we are trying to help them become responsible adults, not slaves.  Ultimately manipulation and punishment will never be enough to guide children and help them grow.
2.  Counsel with your children:  The time for domination has come to an end, now is the time for cooperation.  Work with your children to decide guidelines/rules, teach them how to do things, treat them with respect.  When they do something that hurts you, or annoys you let them know in a direct and kind manner.  With counseling we should strive to understand each other and show that we are really interested in them as a person.  A small word on counseling to determine guidelines/rules, we need to make sure that we protect our children from potential sources of danger.  It would be wise to let them make unsafe choices.
The last thing I want to write is that every child is different and we need to pay attention to them as individuals, not just our children.  It would be wise to give them chances to grow and learn.  This is one of the things that I personally wished I had done more of in my childhood... It would have been nice to be more prepared to make the personal decisions that everybody will face.  Lets love our children and help them prepare for this crazy world.  If that means changing some negative things about our parenting, or just preparing ourselves to be parents by changing our life style to be more healthy and responsible then so be it.  Overall it is most important for us to help them.  We can do it!