Relationship Patterns

In chapter 7 of John Van Epp's book "How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk" it talks about how looking at the relationships that our dates have to other people will reflect eventually in marriage.  It was an interesting thought but one that I think is a powerful one.  Overtime through a long period of dating involving many different situations you can begin to understand who you are dating and what they will be like in marriage.  John Epp did a really good job of mentioning that this doesn't only apply to how your date acts around their family and friends.  It also includes how they treat waiters, cashiers, and other people in general.  By seeing the overall reaction of a date to these kinds of people and different circumstances we can get a picture of what our marriage will be like in the ups and downs and overall.  If our date treats a lot of people in negative ways then maybe we should consider how they might end up treating us eventually when things have gotten comfortable and more relaxed in marriage.
As I was thinking about this idea I started to think about my own relationships with people and how I treat them.  I realized that there were a few things that I wasn't to proud of that I should change.  It was just interesting to me to see certain patterns that I had been totally oblivious to before hand.  I believe that it is when we have choices that we can change.  Because I have a choice now whether or not I will remain in the same patterns I can choose to change.  I can take this lesson and effectively start to learn how to avoid being a jerk that people end up marrying.  I would encourage anybody who honestly wants to have a good relationship to think about how they treat others who aren't their date and readjust when they notice patterns that they don't like.  So while we are avoiding marrying jerks, lets make sure that we are avoiding becoming jerks ourselves.
How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk Chapter 7 Check this out for more of Epp's great advice.